Breathe

I found this amazing hidden stairwell at work. I’ve been working here for over two years now, and I never even knew it existed — I think a lot of people don’t.

It’s so little used, it still smells of fresh paint, the air is a little bit cooler, and when I’m there, I feel like I can breathe again.

breathe-burnout-pinterest

The topic of “anxiety” pops up quite a lot lately on social media. I thought it sounded like an overly dramatic word, right until it started affecting me as well.

It took me quite a while to actually realise what’s going on… First I blamed coffee, and swore off caffeine altogether. Then red wine. I nearly went to see my GP thinking there’s something seriously wrong with my heart and blood pressure. It took a significant argument at the office, and all the anger that followed, to realise that it was caused by stress at work, and the big ugly a-word. And then it took some more time to accept that that is what’s happening.

I’m quite far past the burnt-out stage at this point, so finding ways to get some fresh air at the office has become a daily necessity. I hide “to get work done”, started to go for runs at lunchtimes, and scoured the building for any spaces where I can be alone and breathe.

Sadly, learning “not to care” is something I started taking seriously. I’m normally a total perfectionist, and one of those defender-of-the-right-thing-to-do type people. I badly need to switch that attitude over, at least temporarily for the sake of my own health, into doing the minimum, and not giving a toss.

In some ways, I’m reminded of one of my 2016 goals: “Stress less, take things easier.” I’m now thinking it should also say: “Care only about things that matter.” Right now what matters is finding a job I’m happy in. And until then, to breathe.

Breathe
Tagged on:             

Error: Access Token is not valid or has expired. Feed will not update.
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

There's an issue with the Instagram Access Token that you are using. Please obtain a new Access Token on the plugin's Settings page.
If you continue to have an issue with your Access Token then please see this FAQ for more information.